Thursday, August 1, 2013

Broken Arm and Re-kindling A Friendship

About a week ago (exactly  8 days) my big girl (7 yrs) broke her arm. She fell off a rock climbing wall at school. She wasn't too high up, maybe a meter? The wall itself was only about 2m high. No one saw her fall. We suppose she fell on her arm while trying to support herself coming down - she can't exactly remember. Now she didn't lie on the ground wailing but took herself to me to tell me (crying softly) that she had hurt her arm.

The paramedics arrived and I went with her to the hospital. They did  the usual rounds of initial inspections and observations. Heart rate, blood pressure etc ... She was in pain but took it all in her stride. She complained and cried softly at intervals. Then the X-ray. It broke my heart to hear she needed an operation. It was then that I started to feel nervous. A quick text to close and dear friends for prayers followed. The x-ray showed she  had snapped both the radius and the ulna close to her wrist. It didn't take long before the cannula was inserted and she was ready for theater. She only ever was really distressed when told I couldn't be in theater with her. I explained as a matter of factly that I will be here when you close your eyes and will be here when you open them. She replied "Ok Mama". She is loyal and faithful to me - even during those many times that I don't deserve it!
 She was happy to discover that the theater staff were just as sweet and lovely as the Paramedics. She joked and chatted till it was time for her to go to sleep. At which stage I left and went upstairs to the ward where I sat still for 3 hours beside her bed waiting for her to come out of theater. I did inquire at the 2hr mark and was told it was going fine. The nurse took me down to the theater once she was done. I was happy to see her. She was fine. Drowsy and half asleep but doing really well. The theater nurse told me the first thing she said was "Where's mum?". We stayed at the hospital for 2 nights with the usual diet of bad hospital food and lollies for breakfast cause there was nothing else. The staff maintained a steady surveillance of observations and medications throughout the night and day. The staff were lovely and made my girl comfortable and confident in their care - I'm very grateful for that.

So ... that's the technical part of it.

Here's where I get a tad personal.
I believe we should always be striving (at our own pace) to be better. Once we master one thing , it's onto the next! We have countless opportunities to see where we need improvement but sometimes it's not so clear or maybe we choose to ignore it - in that case life forces us to see. That said, I had felt and witnessed for a while all the angst and frustration that was growing in my daughter. All from the lack of attention and acknowledgement. She is my most reliable and sensible child. She is a great asset to the mechanical workings of our home - meaning she helps me (happily) in order for me to "get things done". Sadly she has always been the one that I push away the most because I reason "she is fine and capable". After a while this had dis-heartened her too much. I could sense she was irritated with me, and held contempt. I think she didn't trust that I loved her enough to give her time - for her sake. I broke her heart a little. Consequently this bad luck with her arm  has brought us together again - made us friends again. She witnessed through my love and care for her during a scary and painful experience that I really do love her ... and I have learnt to give her more of that time she desires of me - for her sake. It was lovely to be in hospital with her and only her. To not worry about what might be happening at home and just spend time together as friends again. I love my girl. I always tell her she is better than me in many many ways and I want to be more like her. I admire her for her strength, for her sometimes quiet and other times not so quiet determination, for her personal expression, her LOYALTY, her conviction of things that are right and her sporadic craziness, (she can also be a royal pain). She is mine to nurture for a time, though she is her own person in her own right. I'm so glad I have her example to help me be a better person. I am so glad she is at my side encouraging me and helping me.So in reference to what I first mentioned in this paragraph ~ Through trials I have seen where I need improvement. I want to be the mother that my children deserve and I strive to be better for their sake and for mine.

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